Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.

Since a new  baby is born, some dads feel like they don’t get enough time alone with their wife. Also the mother is much better than the father at taking care of the baby. So a new dad says I am jealous — how can I get over these feelings?

Parenting expert Armin brott say’s:

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Dads are jealous to their new born but they love them

It’s completely normal to be jealous of your wife’s relationship with your new baby — especially if she’s bonding with him through breastfeeding . But it’s important to ask yourself who’s really making you jealous: Your wife, for being so close with your baby ? Or your baby, for coming between you and your wife? My guess is probably both.

Whatever the cause of your jealousy, it’s best to get your feelings out in the open. Start by talking to your partner as clearly and honestly as possible. This may not be easy: You may be worried that she’ll think you’re being too sensitive. Or you may not want to bother her with your problems — after all, she just had a baby and you’re supposed to be supportive, right?

Whatever’s holding you back, put it aside. The most dangerous thing you can do is bury your jealousy. Left unspoken, your feelings may make you resent both your wife and your baby and could damage your marriage and your experience of fatherhood.

You might also want to talk to your friends who have children. Chances are they will be able to tell you things you need to hear — like that life with a newborn gets better once a routine is established. If it’s too difficult to talk to your wife or your friends, consider going to a therapist or a father’s support group.

As important as talking is, it probably won’t be enough. Create a date night or go for a walk with your wife. Bond with your baby by bathing him, cuddling him, playing with him, putting him to bed, taking him for a walk in a carrier, and changing his diapers. You can also bottle feed him if your wife is pumping breast milk or using formula.

When you have carved out a relationship with your baby that’s independent of your wife, you won’t have nearly as much to be jealous about. In short, the more you do with your baby and your wife, the stronger your relationship with both of them will be. So a concluding message for all new dads , instead of being jealous of your new baby or your wife  help being a good caring  father and a good husband for sure which will help strengthen your bonds between you and your family and especially your new baby.

Thank you for reading .

Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.

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Bill Belew

Bill Belew

Daddy and Christian.

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