Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Daddy told me a story about when he visited a friend a long time ago.
As soon as daddy went into the house his friend told him, “Make yourself at home.”
“Um, what does that mean?” daddy thought to himself.
“Do I open up the fridge? Can I run around in my underwear? Put my feet up on the coffee table?”
The anything-is-okay that was meant to make my daddy feel at ease made him very uncomfortable.
We kids are the same.
Of course, it looks like I want to have it my way, do what I want, anytime I want. But not really.
I do want to know the limits. What is permissible. What is safe.
Daddy says that it’s like being on one of the top floors of a very tall building. People living or visiting there like to go out on the balcony and look around.
But if there is no fence, railing on the balcony, nobody will go out. It’s too scary. When there is something to hang on to that is strong and makes the edge very clear then it is fun. And the visitor can enjoy the view.
We kids want to know where the edge is. And we want to be able to hold on to something strong and immovable so we can look out enjoy the view … of life.
Give us immovable edges and we will not resent you. We will feel safe. And we will enjoy life more because of it.
A Thrifty Mom says that kids, like chickens, need fences. I think so, too.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.