Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
How to lose an argument
5-year olds can be pretty persuasive. Especially when they have their daddies wrapped around their itty bitty tiny little finger.
We have some pretty powerful weapons.
We can smile.
Ask for hugs.
Laugh.
Give tender kisses.
Or we can whine, cry, fuss, kick, and scream until we get our way.
Trust me … that last bunch doesn’t work for me when dealing with my dad.
Sometimes I think my daddy is mean. Sometimes I think he is hard. And sometimes I know he is completely immovable.
“Give it up, Mia. It’s not happening.”
“Keep whining, Mia. You know how that works for me.”
Hard? Yes. But I know pretty clearly what I can get away with and what I cannot get away with.
Daddy will sometimes explain things to me. I guess it’s when he thinks I can understand. Other times he just says ‘no.’ And we’re done.
Here are the three steps to winning an argument.
1. Just say ‘No.” If no is the answer
2. Don’t talk me to death. When you put too many words together in a row I lose track and begin thinking of what I am going say when you finally stop instead of listening.
3. Walk away. If you’re not there for me to keep trying. There’s no one to argue with.
I have a friend who always wants to argue with me. Daddy said, “Just tell her ‘no.’ And don’t say anything else. If she keeps going. Say ‘No’ again and walk away.”
I tried this. And you know what? It worked.
How do you win arguments with your daddy?
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.
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