Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Parents give children time outs. Sometimes parents need a time out.
The rule is one minute of sitting still, being isolated, sent to the room of choice, per year of age.
Scenario: Kid does something to aggravate parent. Parent sends kid to designated place.
But does it work?
Some parenting experts say, “No.”
Kids are not able to figure out what they did wrong on their own. All they get is, “I did something and now I am here.” But they often can’t learn from that connection.
Or … kids ignore the time out and start running around forcing a physical confrontation of the bigger/stronger parent putting the kid ‘in his/her place.’ And the reason for the struggle is forgotten and the struggle becomes the issue.
The alternative, says these experts is to – talk to the kid. Help them at their level to perform some sort of self-assessment.
“How’s this working out for you?”
Disciplining = teaching. Communicate with the child on their level what needs to happen instead of what is happening.
Let me know how that works for you?
Daddy said that when he was a little boy children had to stand in the corner when they misbehaved (sounds like a time out). Or sit on a stool with a dunce cap on if it happened at school. (a bit of humiliation).
What do you think is the best way to discipline kids?
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.