Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Yelling at children is like asking them to live next to train tracks. After a while, you can’t hear the train go by anymore.
After a while, the child can’t hear the parent who yells at them anymore, either.
The University of Pittsburgh has an opinion after yelling, um, looking at 967 middle school students over the course of two years.
When parents yell at their kids, the children are more likely to:
1. be depressed
2. have behavioral problems.
Yelling = loud voice, cursing and using insults.
3. to not get the child to stop anyway
4. learn how to yell back = become aggressive
5. become ashamed =
6. retreat into their own world
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Yelling happens to be sure. Raising your voice becomes necessary at times.
“Honey, watch out for that oncoming car. Dear, you’d better move now or … ”
Danger is not always imminent. But to not correct a child is also dangerous.
A loud voice may come to sound like a passing train, but incessant nagging at a low to moderate level sounds like static noise. It can be tuned out as well.
Keep the lines of communication open.
Keep children focused on the task at hand.
More often than not, when a child is drifting it is because the parent is, too.
When parents are on purpose, so is the child.
Yelling is a voice that is loud and out of control.
A loud voice on purpose, used in a timely manner is necessary at times.
But … if parents would keep themselves on track, more often than not the child will be on track, too.
Sadly … we often see in children what we don’t like to see in ourselves.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.