Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Parents try desperately to be friends with their children.
Parents want their children to like them. On Facebook and in the real world.
The digital age allows kids to stay more connected with their friends – via instant chat, cell phone and texting. I can’t do anything. I see my friends at school and at church and at the playground. My friends and I have no wire or wireless connections.
But mommies and daddies want their kids to be cool. To be tech savvy. To be able to do things their friends’ kids can’t or to at least do the hi-tech things better.
And mommies and daddies want to stay connected, too. Mommies and daddies want their children to think they are cool.
In short, mommies and daddies want to be friends of their children.
But I don’t want my mommy and daddy to be my friend. Friendly, yes. My friend, no.
They are not my peers. Gosh, my daddy is 12 times older than me! And mommy is (Mia!? Please don’t tell).
When mommies and daddies try to hard to be friends it is peer-enting, not parenting.
I need someone I can look up to, not someone who is making the same mistakes I am.
I need someone who is solid … not cool.
Parents make good friends. Friends do NOT make good parents.
Do you agree?
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.