Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Every father seems busy at work , but apart from work and other things the most important thing to tackle is family . It becomes very difficult for busy dads to find time out of their busy schedule to play with their kids there by depriving them of their children’s love and affection. Few times spent with the kids can make them understand the importance of fatherhood and also realize the presence of dads in their lives. So all dads out there spend some time with your kids.
PROVIDE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND AFFECTION :– Giving unconditional love to the family spares you from all past sins. This is the starting point because there is where God begins with us: he loves us no matter what we have done – no matter how badly we had screwed up in the past. All children have a deep desire to hear from their dad that he loves them to know.
This in their heart of hearts. A lack of unconditional parental love is the number one cause of low self image for teenagers and low self image are the common root of every tragic teen problem. Two most powerful factors in how teens develop self image are close relationship with the father and the second spending a lot of time with dads. SO you can really help keep your kids out of trouble by providing them yourself unconditional love and spend time with them.
SPEND T-I-M-E :-
What many dads cite as their number one obstacle to being a Great Dad but what they forget are the basic reason to do for the well being of the family. When 1500 school children were asked: What makes a happy family? The answer from nearly each one was “Doing things Together”. 10 minutes is the average time dads spent with preschoolers one on one each day and the kids spend at least 30 hours with video images of dads and males .Thus children spend at least 10 times as much time with these video images as their own dads. Here’s where the difference shows . Learn what to say to your child if he wants your attention. Practical tip: 5 second drill – When a child wants your attention, before answering Yes or no, just look into their eyes for 5 seconds and then answer. Have fun with activities, traditions, birthday parties, reading time, get into the child’s interest area, give them a half day – and say to them, “you choose”. It is your responsibility to balance between work and family so the best way is to follow your heart.
COMMUNICATE CONSTANTLY AND CREATIVELY :-
Communicating with your kids by sending your kids “love notes” – brief notes expressing your love and concern for them and just showing them you are thinking about them. Also ask them what they are doing, how they are doing, what their interests are, friends, etc. – In short, be interested in their world. Share yourself – what’s on your heart, the lessons you have learned from mistakes of the past, and your dreams for the future. Hold family meetings if possible , can be on Sunday afternoon or early evenings close with each family member.
By doing these certain small things we only improve ourselves as a good dad in the eyes of our own children and also tend to spare some time with family as a whole. This spreads love and affection between you as a dad and the kids.
Thank you for reading.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.