Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Going to be a dad? Let me tell you it’s not easy. Do you remember how happy you were when you got your first car or your dream job or when you married your loved one. Let me tell you, this happiness is going to be beyond all these. Just the news of you becoming a father brings you loads of happiness but with that comes lots of responsibilities. You will be excited and freaked out at the same moment. You should share your happiness with her too because she would be equally or happier than you.
Things that a new dad needs to do:
Taking out for dinner: Make sure you be prepared if you are going out for dinner or you are planning some surprise for her because she is pregnant. Though her baby bump is not out her body is different than earlier. You can expect unexpected things like she may be fine until you reach the restaurant and start throwing up reaching there. So better do what she likes and try to spend lots of time with her.
Need to prepare a budget: You have to prepare a budget and need to save money more. Your new expenses are coming up like maternity clothes, new baby room, baby clothes, baby toys and much more. You have to remember that the salary is going to be one of two (if she is working). She may wish for new things to eat for her pregnancy cravings. With all these you have medical bills to pay too.
Need to talk to your employer: You better start talking to your employer regarding your leaves because you are going to need them more. While pregnancy you may need more leaves for her maternity checkups, if she is not feeling well you need to stay with her. And after child birth the paternity leave. You need to talk all these to your employer and make a chart of your leave . If your wife is working, make sure she talks with her company policies too.
Household works: Now it’s not only your regular job that is from nine to five, you are introduced to new works. You have to get used to those household works from starting itself so that you and your wife both don’t face problems in your last pregnancy months.
Let me tell you all these works will not matter to you because someone new is going to come into your life who will be more special than anyone else. These small steps would lead to greater happiness in the future because the first month of pregnancy is very critical for both of the parents. The mother has to be very careful with the baby inside her and father have to plan all expenses, leaves and even arranging the baby room. The father should be more responsible towards the baby because your wife is carrying someone, this will limit her contribution towards everything so you are the one who will be doing everything right from household works to planning everything.
Thank you for reading.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.