Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
The love of Dad’s is indeed very special and the emotional bond that you forge with your dad is indeed an emotional and memorable experience for most of us. Growing up with a father who shares that special chemistry with you is truly a delightful experience especially if you had someone who understood the finer aspects of who you are as a person and gives you that sense of respect and freedom and is not imposing or intimidating in any way. These fathers are not judgemental and they offer unconditional love and support to you no matter what you got through in life. They are with you through thick and then allow you to be just yourself and make you feel that you don’t need any kind of improvement to who you are and help develop your own individual identity or personality. These dads have an innate ability to gauge what your true strength and potential, and this really is a unique aspect or a feature that these fathers have in terms of providing that special love to their family. We also see the flip side of the coin and dads who look at the negative aspects of their child or their spouse and are constantly at their throats for not doing things the way that they would like them to be done. Those dads that do share this special connection with their families are not intimidating or confrontational but are very forthcoming to help and motivate their kids at every juncture of their lives and do not make the mistake of comparing them with other children and just treat them as who they are and not like how they want them to be.
The special relationship that is forged between the members of such families is really what is key in order ensure the family’s long term sustenance and really is therefore very important in creating the strong base on which the family’s fortunes really depends upon. These critical bonds are really necessary in order to bring a family on one thread of coexistence and mutual respect on which the foundation is built upon. Even if there is any deviation within how things pan out it is this very special bond of the father that sets things right . As a father you can provide lot of luxury and comfort to your family members but then as we know human beings are nothing more than social animals that need love and support and the strong thread that really holds together a family towards a common objective is ultimately the driving force that enables the family to be able to steer clear of all the difficulties and hardships into a safe position.
The father is really the pivot or the fulcrum that holds this web of relationships together in this complex world that we live and the father being the anchor that he is, must be responsible and wise otherwise things could get out of control in the family. He must also take the extra effort in putting things into perspective and making things happen like they should happen for all us. The father must really step up and ensure that all his family members have a dialogue and clear things in front of each other and that there is no discord between the members of the family. The love of the father gets a long time to take shape and begin to spread its influence and this process takes a period of several years for this to actually take effect and does not therefore happen overnight in the overall scheme of things within the family.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.