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Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.

Is teaching a child to be tactful, kind, the same as telling them to lie?

I trust my daddy. I really do.

But, sometimes I don’t understand why he asks me to do something that is different than what he usually tells me to do.

Daddy tells me to not lie.

And I don’t.

But once, my friend gave me a present for Christmas. And I didn’t like it. I thought it was a present for a boy.

“I don’t want this. I don’t like this. It’s for a boy.”

Daddy got pretty upset.

He took me to my room and talked a lot. I don’t remember much. But I do remember I didn’t get to be honest.

He told me I should tell my friend thank you for the present.

More: $2.6 Million for an Electronic Baby Sitter!!

He didn’t say I had to tell them I liked it. But I should tell her, ‘thank you.’

But she didn’t like it either. I bet she got that present from someone else and didn’t like it, so she found a chance to wrap it up and give it someone else … me.

I don’t know.

Daddy says that when people show us kindness, give us gifts, we should show them appreciation.

What I want to know is, when can I tell people exactly what I think? When should I be quiet? And when should I just be ‘nice?’

And isn’t being honest being nice?

Can somebody help me out here?

Comments, please?

Oh, and Stephanie asks “Is it ever okay to lie to a parent?”

By the way – that image? That’s a book I wrote called By Cows Who Chew Lilies. <= take a look?

Maybe you’d like to read it sometime.

Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.


Bill Belew

Professional Blogger, social media marketer, professor of marketing, Christian and dad.

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Growing Up Aimi Series