Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Is teaching a child to be tactful, kind, the same as telling them to lie?
I trust my daddy. I really do.
But, sometimes I don’t understand why he asks me to do something that is different than what he usually tells me to do.
Daddy tells me to not lie.
And I don’t.
But once, my friend gave me a present for Christmas. And I didn’t like it. I thought it was a present for a boy.
“I don’t want this. I don’t like this. It’s for a boy.”
Daddy got pretty upset.
He took me to my room and talked a lot. I don’t remember much. But I do remember I didn’t get to be honest.
He told me I should tell my friend thank you for the present.
He didn’t say I had to tell them I liked it. But I should tell her, ‘thank you.’
But she didn’t like it either. I bet she got that present from someone else and didn’t like it, so she found a chance to wrap it up and give it someone else … me.
I don’t know.
Daddy says that when people show us kindness, give us gifts, we should show them appreciation.
What I want to know is, when can I tell people exactly what I think? When should I be quiet? And when should I just be ‘nice?’
And isn’t being honest being nice?
Can somebody help me out here?
Oh, and Stephanie asks “Is it ever okay to lie to a parent?”
By the way – that image? That’s a book I wrote called By Cows Who Chew Lilies. <= take a look?
Maybe you’d like to read it sometime.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.