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Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.

This post shall examine the problems and difficulties faced by these families with addict dads.  Addiction is a disease that might arise out of a variety of factors the most common of them being frustration and lack of recognition in the society because of which they resort to extreme addictions and get themselves hooked to drugs, alcohol and other addictive substances that are harmful to the body and their family as a whole.  These families are sick and tired of the general behaviour of these dads which is somewhat repetitive and abusive to a large extent and devise a variety of ways in which to cope from the disastrous outcomes of such a situations.

Addict dads usually fight over petty issues with the family members and exhibit unpredictable and rash behaviour at times. The spouses in many case take charge of these families and take up the responsibility in upbringing such families with kids left to look up only to their moms and have nothing better to learn from their dads.  These kids grow up with a general sense of fear by witnessing the erratic behaviour of their dad and the constant bickering and quarrels that go on between their parents.  The feuds are usually financially related as the dad in many case demands money from the mother to support his drinking and drug habits because of which fights arise.

These habits are persistent and these dads show a consistent pattern of abuse in their family lives. Quarrels over petty issues are common in the family.  The children are forced to live under a sense of fear and paranoia and quarrels between the husband and the spouse may also lead to physical assault.  These dads make it a point to fight over small and minor issues and are constantly looking for reasons to pick up a fight with their spouse.  This behavior severely hampers their kids attitude while growing up because they see this image of an irresponsible father and are therefore unable to learn and put their concentration into studies which are already very competitive.

The kids are also carrying this baggage and is bound to impact on how their attitudes and perceptions are shaped in the due course of time.  They tend to think that life in general is sick and some of them make these excuses and stray from their normal ways of hard work and dedication.  Some kids on the other hand seem to learn from these tough situations and make it a point not to ever indulge in these bad habits in their lives and not expose their own family members to such conditions when they become adults.  Some kids on the other hand pick up these habits and start experimenting at an early age and get hooked on to these addictive substances.

These kids don’t respect the traditions and are difficult to control and carry with them the deep emotional distress that was forced upon them by their dads and pass it on to their kids. These really triggers a vicious cycle of events from one generation to the other without people analyzing the root cause of the problem.  They only take into consideration the symptoms and take with them the scars that were left behind by these dads and are unwilling to take ownership and responsibility.  They think it is fashionable to indulge in such harmful substances but they do not realize that these addictions will be detrimental to their overall personality development and will eventually ruin their lives in the long run and would in turn cause irreparable damage to them and the society.

Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.

Bill Belew

Daddy and Christian.

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Growing Up Aimi Series