Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
These dads are out of sync with the current times that we live in and have a big problem in communicating their thoughts and ideas to the members of their family. This might be because of the fact that they might not be educated or are completely illiterate lacking basic idea of wisdom or they might have mental challenges because of which their intelligence is challenged. Their children might on the other hand might be bright and they in turn have a tough time in dealing with their father who is challenged in terms of being able to tune into their frequency and mentally handicapped in many cases.
These children sometimes are very cognizant of these facts and try and adapt to these limitations posed by their fathers situation and in many instances they act as guides for these dads in explaining in detail their ideas on technology, life and on day to day chores.
Their spouses are often times in very tight corners because they are breadwinners of their families and have to contend with these men who are not able to adapt to changing times and technological advances and cycles that the world goes through and are stuck in their rigid mindsets and generally view their husbands as liabilities and prisoners of their own creation.
These dads are not able to adapt to the changing environment that we live and are often prisoners of their own imagination and mindset. Many of these dads are not open minded and view things as static and not dynamic and are sort of programmed beings who are not welcome to fresh ways of thinking or fresh ways of doing things. They are often the people with their own way of doing things and do not like to engage in any kind of debates or discussions with their family members which is often times the primary reason why there is bound to be conflict in these families.
When it comes to adopting modern technology such as computers and smart phones these dads in many cases prefer to carry out day to day activities by word of mouth rather than opening their eyes and ears to world out there which is constantly evolving in terms of new gadgets and instruments being discovered. These parents also are not appreciative of their children taking their own decisions when it comes to choosing their life partner from a different sect, class, race or religion and some of them are fascinated with their own caste and religion and are often engaged in a bitter spat with their family members for not toeing their line of thinking and decision making creating lot of rift within the family and therefore viewed as a thorn in the flesh by their children.
Many of these dads are also engulfed in family pride and traditions that they go out of the way in making sure that they come in the way of their children’s choices whether it may be their careers, marriage or investment decisions and this creates real friction between them and their family members. Usually the wife is the one who acts as a mediator between their children and their family but in many cases the wife has to side with the decision of their husbands and the children are the ones who have to bear the brunt of the mistakes of their father. The children in many cases develop bitter animosity towards these dads and end up leaving their family for good and breaking ties permanently with their parents thereby ending the saga of relations with their immediate and extended families.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.