Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
Now, isn’t this one interesting topic!!
Invites loads and loads of thoughts. There is no right or wrong to being a dad. It’s just a perspective. Let’s start by discussing the different kinds of dad that exist on this planet.
Some of them are new dads, been there done that, inexperienced, happy or sad dads. Some have the fear of the unknown. They over plan and try to be mentally prepared for the times to come. Some dads are confused and disorganized. Some have financial constraints/issues. A few of them consult a lot. They compare products/resources available a thousand times before finalizing anything. They are super conscious about the decisions they make and how they will effect the child. They consciously or unconsciously end up planning a lot.
Another type would be kids who become dads. They are very anxious. They face the fear of the unknown. They plan a lot in fact mental preparation plays an important role for them. Some other variety of dads are confused and disorganized. They try to use their past knowledge/experiences each time they are in a similar situation. That way they feel more secure about what’s happening around them.
There exist some dads who have been there and done that. There are two perspectives here. The first category feels matured and totally ripe about the knowledge about life. They get bored at times doing things over and over again. They hardly like to share their experiences or else they feel like a pro at all times. They come from a school full of memories. They have stories to tell considering what they have experienced in the past. They are full of advices for people around them. Some of them preach discipline and frequently talk about it. They feel a sense of satisfaction
Let’s talk about dads who have done things wrong. These are people who are full of remorse and guilt often times. This is a source of all the memories that they are living. They surely wish to go back if given a chance. The want to get back to their kids or wives. Then there are dads who want to learn. They end up asking questions, often as for advice. They crave to be recognized, want to look good in front of their kids. Some fathers are responsible. There are a few who are struggling in their lives in some form of the other, considering, they have a lot of hidden aspirations.
A lot of dads want to share/mentor young dads. They appreciate sharing best practices. They like talking, advising and consulting. Some dads are inquisitive. A few think they have knowledge or they might have knowledge. They wish to share their previous experiences. There are dads with instant families and there are some with no instant families. Some dads have lost their family for one reason or the other. They sound frustrated, most of the times, concerned about their future. Some could be jealous of other families irrespective of the bond they share with those.
There are empathetic dads. They try to be in others’ shoes and live their situation. They imagine how they would feel if it ever happened to them. Some dads are scared, they get nightmares. They are cautious and conscious about things in life. They are possessive about what they have.
There are earn freak dads. Dads who focus on career and money. They try hard to build a career through social media and marketing. They give a good life to their kids by involving in a blogging carrier.
Dads who are dads and have dads, too! Isn’t this great? It’s wonderful to catering to their needs. One becomes so much more patient, a lot more respectful. Sharing becomes an integral part in such families. Culture and its respect is in focus. Everyone is loving and there are open lines of communication. However, there is a flip side to it. There exist some generational communication gaps. Discipline gets weight-age, fights occur time and again. Dad, being dads, focus on parents. At times, they end up ignoring their wives and kids and thus not taking proper care.
Let’s discuss bi-cultural dads. They have different experiences. It’s all about accommodating and adjusting. Conflicts occur. Communication gaps and misunderstanding happen. They try to learn about the other culture. Alongside, there are bi-racial dads. They have different experiences too. Some racial animosity might exist too.
Single dads is another sensitive category of dads. Some of them might be irritated. The others are loving, caring, cautious and careful. Some might prove to be insecure. There are work from home dads, could be strict, lazy, comfortable, relaxed. Foster dads are caring. Some take this decision for financial reasons.
Thus, let’s conclude that there are dads of all kinds. Most of them make a good one. It’s all about how you look at them.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.