Bill Belew has raised 2 bi-cultural kids, now 34 and 30. And he and his wife are now parenting a 3rd, Mia, who is 8.
The attitude of a father really is very important is determining the future and security of the family and its upbringing. If the father does not have a fine attitude and a sound temperament it is impossible for a family to be in a secure environment mentally as well as financially. Most of us are subject to mental conditioning right from out childhood and most of our attitudes and beliefs are shaped by the our cultural upbringing and our family’s effort in imbibing values in us. The most important aspect of our life is our social upbringing.
Some of these dads who have been drained economically and those fathers that are unable to provide the right amount of monetary security or luxury; which is a legitimate concern of the spouse and the children of every family is basically an attitude issue. These dads with such attitude are always seen running short of money in order to make both ends meet and are often seen borrowing from friends and family. Because of their lack of attitude, these dads are unable to therefore meet the minimum social expectations, as they lack a high paying job that would satisfy and be able to cater to the needs of the family. Some of these dads because of the lack of attitude are seen as spendthrifts and do not save adequately. Some of them are not good at planning for the future, keeping the long term view in mind as the live one day at a time and because of this basic approach these men are unable to see what lies ahead.
Some of these dads are unable to adapt to the dynamically changing trends that we live in reflective of the current times and are often constrained by their rigidity of thought and are therefore prisoners of their own imaginations and attitudes. Some of these dads are not broad minded and view things as from a myopic lens wearing blinders on and are not dynamic in their mental orientation and are sort of like brainwashed beings who do not welcome fresh modes of doing things or way of thought. Some of these dads are the folks with their own backward method of doing things and do not engage in any kind of discussions with the members of the family, which is the primary reason for discord and conflict within the family.
Some of these dads are also too much into family traditions and antiquities, so much so that they as far as making sure that they influence their children’s lives and their personal choices with the their own ideas and attitudes which might not be what the child wants. When it comes their marriage, career or future decisions they always intrude into their personal lives which is a constant source of bickering and discord within the members of the family. Most of the times the wife is the mediator between the father and the children, but in most cases the wife to sides with the husband for many reasons and then the children who in turn have to face the music from their father, which makes their lives miserable.
Talk to Bill and others about their experiences raising bi-cultural Japanese-American kids.